Wax Tracks: Vinyl reviews
By Michael Mercadante

Fake Problems & Ninja Gun – Split 7-inch

When I'm given a fat stack of 7-inch records to review, it's my hope that I'll discover some gem, some musical masterpiece I've never heard before. A song I'll be adding to mix tapes for the rest of my life. “The Manliest Man Of All Men” by Fake Problems is just that sort of song.
It at once reminded me of all my favorite Ween songs. Not a Ween copy, maybe not even Ween-inspired, but Fake Problems has that same “we know how to play our instruments, but we're going to pretend we don't” attitude. This song comes across as a 1970's trucker anthem pounded through the DIY grindhouse. The Naples, Florida-based band released their first album, How Far Our Bodies Go, in 2007and followed it in February 2009 with t heir second full-length album, It's Great To Be Alive.They recently finished an east coast tour and will be playing crossing the Atlantic to play all over the U.K. in April.

The B-side features “Time And A Half” by Ninja Gun, a Valdosta, Georgia-based quartet, and it's the perfect accompaniment to “The Manliest Man of All Men.” Melodic mid-tempo indie-pop with a southern twang, it's very catchy and would make a nice addition to a road trip mix. With stated influences like 13th Floor Elevators and The Buzzcocks, Ninja Gun are pulling from 40 years of rock history and crafting a sound simultaneously timeless and completely modern. They have recently released their debut album Restless Rubes on Suburban Home Records. Look for them on tour around the southeast United States.

The split 7-inch, pressed on clear vinyl, contains just one song from each band, but serves as a great introduction to both.

Rating: 4/5 Release Date: August 11, 2009
Fake Problems Website | Ninja Gun Website | Label

Zebras - Parasitic Clones under the Strong Arm of the Robotic Machine

Milwaukee, Wisconsin-based Zebras have released a limited-edition, hand-numbered blue and black vinyl version of their new album Parasitic Clones under the Strong Arm of the Robotic Machine. Singer Vincent Presley (no relation), has fronted nearly a dozen different bands since 1995, reunites with Strawberry Vagina bandmate Lacey Smith. In addition to vocals, Presley has moved from drums to guitar and Thieves on Holiday drummer Shawn Pierce has picked up percussion.

Presley takes lead vocals for five of the six tracks in this outing. His vocals are reminiscent of early Dead Kennedys, while his guitar skills seem inspired more by late-80's thrash and speed metal –imagine Jello Biafra fronting Scatterbrain in 1989. Also there is no bass guitar, insteadLacey Smith provides the bass using a Moog synthesizer which, when combined with Pierce's heavy drumming, lends to the aural onslaught and gives the sound some nice density. She also wrote and sings the track “The Spell,” which lands at spot number five and successfully allows the album to shift gears for a moment, and lets “Robot Machine,” by far the best track on the album, power the whole project to a great finish. Shooting by in less than 15 minutes, the entire album strikes the brain like a shot of espresso.

The album is a split 12-inch. The B-side material is provided by fellow Milwaukee band E=MC Hammer. “Hurns” is an experimental bass-and-drums project launched by Peter Woods (bass and vocals) and Danny Friedman (drums). Their own description of the sound as “at the same time retarded, annoying and great” is at least two-thirds right. The music meanders, sometimes fast and sometimes slow, and sometimes as aimless as bad improv jazz. The vocals drift between deathcore and muppets. Three songs with intolerably-long solos, the sound occasionally flirts with the brilliance of a John Zorn album or the weirder Mr. Bungle, but without the same musical skill. If these two keep at it, this might someday become one of those amazing recording projects, but for now the novelty isn't enough to sustain the task of actually listening to the whole album in one shot.

Rating: 2/5
Release Date: 2009
Website | Self-Released

Ampline/Atomic Garden – Split EP (7-inch)

Ampline is an instrumental rock trio from Cincinnati who, according to their website, “have by design forgone the traditional in order to reach some new, untouched area of expression.” That said the track contributed here, “Our Carbon Dreams,” falls short of that goal. Strangely, despite their pride in never having bothered to “find a singer,” this track includes vocals which break them from the instrumental closet. “Our Carbon Dreams” isn't a bad song, but it doesn't manage to stand out either.

The B-side is contributed by Atomic Garden, a three-piece French band who plays honest balls-out rock. In the 10 years they've been together, they've released two full-length albums and a slew of split EP's. The name, doubtless taken from the Bad Religion song, reveals at least one of their influences. The song they contribute here, “Sonic System Overloaded” is driven by fast, melodic guitar reminiscent of Stellastarr or The Foo Fighters. It's three minutes of solid rock that will definitely get them some attention.

Rating: 3/5
Release Date: 2009
Atomic Garden Website | Ampline Website | Label

Victor! Fix The Sun – “Person, Place or Thing”

Victor! Fix The Sun is a stripped-down three piece rock band from Grand Rapids, Michigan who just released their third album, Person, Place or Thing this past October. The album, pressed on red vinyl and released by Friction Records, contains six tracks. The A-Side jumps right at you with “My Friend The Guru” and “We Come From The Northwoods,” two fast-tempo, screamy high-energy tracks before slowing down a bit with “Paperthin Feather Fuck.” By the third track, the band's melodic skills begin to shine through. They were there all along, but the record needed to slow down long enough for the listener to notice. These guys have a talent for making good rock songs in a state known more for its rap and soul heritage. I'm listening to “Paperthin Feather Fuck” on a cold snowy morning, and it's the perfect soundtrack.

The B-side launches with the short, quirky track “Blind Man's Bluff” and continues through “Person Place or Thing” and “Infested, Mother Approved.” Overall, the album is reminiscent of indie rock of the early 1990's – certain elements even reminded me of early tracks by The Pixies. The album features beautiful art by Julia Victor and contains a coupon for a free digital download of all tracks.

Rating: 4/5
Release Date: 2009
Website Label

Caterpillar Tracks/Arms Exploding – Split EP (7-inch)

Caterpillar Tracks is a four-piece outfit from Cincinnati with a sound they describe as “psychedelic melodramatic popular song soul.” The A-side track, “It's a W.I.N. For The Home Team,” is guided by rhythmic, almost hypnotic drumming and bass. The guitar provides the psychedelic influence. The vocals don't contribute much, but the music is definitely catchy and the main hook will stay with you the rest of the day.

The B-side track is contributed by Arms Exploding, a five-piece band also from Cincinnati that comprises ex-members of East Arcadia and Based In Theory. Their track, “Of Luxury and Branding” is fast, excitable and edgy pop-punk with a driving bass line and infectious guitars. The vocals seem better suited to a metal band, but get the job done nevertheless. Their MySpace calendar lists just one upcoming show date in Kentucky.

Rating: 2/5
Release Date: 2009
Caterpillar Tracks Website | Arms Exploding Website | Label

Drug Wars – “9846” EP (7-inch)

9846 is the debut EP for Drug Wars, a four-piece hardcore band from San Diego, California. The black vinyl 7-inch had a limited pressing of 500 copies in August, and contains two songs. “98” is the A-side, and “46” is the B-side track. Both tracks are fast-paced lo-fi punk rock that is reminiscent of early Dead Kennedys recordings. Currently unsigned and not touring, Drug Wars is hopefully in the studio putting together a full-length release their own. If they're not, it'd be an awful waste.

Rating: 3/5
Release Date: 2009
Website | Label