Acid Mothers Temple Mantra Of Love
HAHA. Ok, I have no idea why I got this CD to review. Acid Mothers Temple are a new age jam band. This CD is 2 tracks, the first one being 30 minutes long and the second one being 15. All I can say is that they are from Japan and remind me of that guy from Serendipity that plays the snake charmer. I hope you know what I’m talking about because otherwise you can not possibly comprehend how funny this music is. Get Mantra of Love if anytime in the next year you are moving to the Far East and plan on living in the rainforests or riding camels through deserts in Africa.
[Alien8 Recordings - www.alien8recordings.com <http://www.alien8recordings.com>] - VeganVadim

All Out War “Condemned To Suffer”
All Out War was always a favorite of mine, and it has been quite some time since they released a new record. Needless to say, I had very high expectations. Not only were they met, but Condemned To Suffer blew me away. You know what you’re getting with All Out War. Slayer riffs with Mike Score screaming about how the human race is evil and is going to burn for eternity for ruining the world we live in. Lyrically, that covers eleven of the twelve songs on this record. The other, "Hypocrites of the Revolution,” attacks the tribe of fakers known as the "hardcore scene" and their packaged rebellion. I love it. The lyrics on this are so unbelievably pissed off and bitter, I listened to this and the new Slapshot over and over again for 3 weeks straight (not stopping to write my reviews, which is why they are late; apologies to my editor), and I’m surprised I haven’t killed anyone yet. (Victory Records, 348 N. Justine St., Suite 504, Chicago, IL 60607- www.victoryrecords.com <http://www.victoryrecords.com/>) - Chris X

All Rights Reserved- "Remind Me To Burn These Pages"
One of the newest additions to local label PumpkinEater Records, these four Jersey kids’ 5 song EP is evocative of the newest wave of so-called “emo-rock.” I must admit that I hate the word emo, because it really means nothing. But because this entire generation feels the need to use the perfidious word to classify bands into certain genres such as emo, screamo, punk-emo-rock, rock-punk-emo, emo-punk-rock, and emo-alternative, I am forced to utilize the word in my reviews to help the unsuspecting Wonkavision reader (who has unknowingly stumbled into the black hole known as the review section) better understand the sound of a band. On a side note, I was exploring purevolume.com the other day and came across a band that described their sound as “emo-hip-hop.” I believe jerking-off would better prepare this “emo-hip-hop” band for their non-existent music-turned-adult-film career. However, the same thought did not cross my mind when listening to Remind Me To Burn These Pages, as the guitar work on this EP is very creative, concomitant with Bob Dawson’s quality drum work. Is it weird that Dawson reminds me of James Vanderbyk? He was in Dawson’s creek wasn’t he? I can’t remember. Regardless, look for All Rights Reserved to be releasing a quality full-length in the near future. (Pumpkin Eater Records, PO Box 144, Iselin, New Jersey 08830) - tubby

An Albatross We Are The Lazer Viking
This is my absolute favorite eight minute/eleven song CD/EP so far this millennium. Shit, in my whole life. Kids, this is a total hardcore punk screamfest, but with a twist; this set prominently displays keyboards as the main lead instrument(s). Yeah, there are some guitars too. Listening to these guys is like being force fed Mr. Bungle on speed with Jon Lord of Deep Purple playing the keyboards while on peyote. Every tune is different, and none of them waste any time. Ever go to a traveling carnival’s freak show with Devo, Danny Elfman/Oingo Boingo, or Brainiac after having too much sugar and asthma medicine? Here’s the aural equivalent. I wish I could give you more information, but I listened to this at least eleven times to write this much. If I tell you more, it will actually take longer to read the review than to listen to this gem of a CD, and that just ain’t right. This is an abbreviated mini-epic of astounding proportions. Do yourself a favor and pick this up, but for eight minutes, it better not be too much moola. (Ace Fu - www.acefu.com) - Renrag

Ann Beretta “Three Chord Revolution”
When I fist saw that I had received the new Ann Beretta album to review I was completely psyched! I was a huge fan of their previous releases on Lookout! and was salivating at the opportunity to hear yet another kick-ass album from this Richmond, VA trio. Unfortunately, moments after listening to the first track I had to eject the disk to confirm that it was actually Ann Beretta and not some other disk that got mixed-up in the shuffle! What the hell happened to these guys? It sounded more like a revolution of The Beach Boys than some three-chord portrayal of punk rock. The crunchy, raw tunes and husky, yet heartfelt, lyrics that once marked this band’s style have been overthrown with cheesy, poppy, Simple Plan sounding garbage! I will admit, there were brief moments and portions of the album that rekindled that passion I once had for the old Ann Beretta, but for the most part it left me feeling completely and utterly disappointed. Just when I expected Ann Beretta to take that next step and produce an album that would blow my mind, they chose to dive right into the demoralizing realm of today’s new idea of “punk rock,” led by the likes of Yellowcard and Story of the Year. (Union 2112 Records, 78 Rachel E., Montreal, OC, H2W 1C6, Canada - www.unionlabelgroup.com) - Jersey Jef

Antifreeze “The Search For Something More”
Ahhh, pop punk, my guilty pleasure.... Hailing from Appleton, WI, population 67,000, these four guys love cheese. Tim Crowley, vocals/bass, has just made me feel old: I was reading an interview and he states Weezer, MxPx and Jimmy Eat World as his influences. All I can say is “wow!” I'm not slighting him for it, just…wow. For a band discovered, produced and managed by Kris Roe (The Ataris) and released on Kung Fu Records, it definitely seems fitting. So, keeping those facts in mind imagine their sound; yep, you got it…pop-punk, rock, emo - with the faintest scream here and there. Unfortunately, I don't find much depth or originality on this album, but I'm not in much of a poppy mood at the moment. It just seems that there isn't any added value here. If you're already a fan, then you'll love the disc, but I don't see this winning over any new fans, at least no one over the age of 16. A video was produced for their song “Pointless Emotion” and has been submitted to MTV, MuchMusic, Fuse and a few others. It can bee seen at the Kung Fu website. (Kung Fu Records, PO Box 38009 Hollywood, CA 90038 - www.kungfurecords.com) - Milkman

Ariel Kill Him In The Pyramid
“Sounds like the Doves, Sigur Ros, Cold Play, and Radiohead” stated the press release accompanying this album. Not so much: those would be the bands that a musician who wasn’t all that good would compare himself to. You know the guy: you say, “Dreary, shoe-gazing, dream-pop, mope rock? Oh really? What do you guys sound like?” And then he says, “Radiohead” and you beat him up with his own clichéd hypocrisy on a stick. AKH aren’t British though; they’re Swedish, and I don’t know what that means other than Dave wears eyeliner and lip gloss. His makeup offends me in the same way his music does: he’s trying too hard. If left to his own devices as a singer/songwriter, the boy might have a shot, but on In The Pyramid he tries to tackle too much in the name of “musical growth”: the electronics seem ill-fitted and the female vocals that break with desperate soprano attempts seem forcedly so. The most natural position for Lehnberg to be in is either completely stripped down (in the musical sense, you kinky bastards) as seen on “Less Beat” or imbued with powerful rock: “Not Today, Not Tomorrow,” the album’s highlight, is the most successful song because it finds Lehnberg concentrated on the formulation of the song as a whole, not just on the song as a base on which to lay unnecessary effects and computer blips. (Eyeball Records, PO Box 1653, New York, NY, 10009 - www.eyeballrecords.com) - Thumper

As Tall As Lions Lafcadio
This is a surprisingly good record from a band that is most likely going to be lumped into the emo/post-hardcore genre but really doesn’t belong there. A myriad of influences ranging from Brit-rock, to early 120 Minutes artists, to ‘80s arena rockers are present and accounted for, but their inspiration is subtle as the band maintains a general rock-with-hints-of-emo sound. I shit you not though, “96 Heartbeats” sounds just a bit like Steve Perry (Journey) fronting The Church, and though on paper that might sicken you, it’s probably my favorite song on a CD full of great sounding songs. “Silhouettes/Silhouetting” not only has a Brit-rock feel to the title but also has a Brit-rock feel to the music, kind of like Coldplay but without the grey clouds. And the quick pace of “If I’m Not Out Burning” is a real eye-opener after the dreary (yet nice) one-two punch of “The Carousel” and “Acrobat.” As Tall As Lions has done an honorable job of mixing genres and should appeal to more than just the emo kids. (Triple Crown Records, 331 W.57th St. #472, New York, NY 10019 - www.triplecrownrecords.com) - Chip Midnight

Atom And His Package Hair: Debatable
I’ve read about this act for years, and until now have successfully avoided it. Ironically enough, this is my first actual exposure to him and just happens to be a record of his last live performance ever. It’s growing on me in a creepy, but friendly way. The tunes are short, and almost every one has an introduction, which ups the attention level and helps you to understand what he’s going on about. Some of my fave tunes are: “The Metric System,” “Shopping Spree,” “If You Own The Washington Redskins You’re A Cock” and “Me And My Black Metal Friends.” Musically, it’s an adenoidal version of Weird Al Yankovic, only with original tunes instead of parodies of pop hits and a home made electronic “package” which functions as a/the band. Twenty seven tracks later, I’m blown away and wondering why I didn’t pay attention earlier. This package includes a DVD of the same performance. Everybody else, well, you know you gotta have it, so just get it. (Hopeless - www.hopelessrecords.com <http://www.hopelessrecords.com>) - Renrag

Audio Learning Center “Cope Park”
Early 90’s grunge nuts might feel a twinge of recognition from the sounds on this second disc by Portland’s Audio Learning Center. And obsessive grunge completists will have memories flooding back to them by the opening notes of “The Neverwills,” as I did while lying in bed listening to Cope Park playing on my headphones. I just couldn’t shake that the singer here sounded exactly like the guy from Pond, a second-tier grunge band from Portland who put out two amazing albums in ’93 and ’95 respectively. So I had to leap out bed and reference the included materials. Sure enough, this is Chris Brady of Pond’s new band! Not only that, but there’s also a guy from Sprinkler (another story for another time) in this band too. What we get is thick, spacious sounds that lie somewhere between the angular discord of Fugazi and the enveloping atmosphere of Radiohead. It’s a pretty killer rock disc that demands and deserves a lot of patience, and it’s got just enough grunge residue to please those who care about such menial things 12 years after the Pacific Northwest explosion. Okay, I’m a freak -- so sue me! (Vagrant Records, 2118 Wilshire Blvd., Santa Monica, CA 90403, - www.vagrant.com) - Jason Schreurs

Aveo “Battery”
They’re from Seattle! They must drink coffee! They must like rainy weather! It sure as hell sounds like they do. The first track, “Newton and Galileo,” reminds me of Chris Isaak and is elegant and moody. William Wilson’s vocals are clear, perfectly elevated at the right moments, backed by supple drumbeats and chords that sound like brushed steel. “Desert and the Great Divorce” has the same sanitarily sultry appeal to it, with an intro that would fit perfectly on the “Lost In Translation” soundtrack. Aveo punches it up on several tracks, pulling The Shins through the gloomy clouds of “empty sex” and nodding towards Morrissey in the hallways, but they end up in a large, navy blue colored room that they never seem to escape. Perhaps that is why I can neither gush about the band nor criticize them all that harshly; they have an alluring appeal, and when perfectly executed on a dimly-lit stage, could probably make a few 20-something girls weak in the knees. Still, they’re stuck, and while it is in a pleasant, faintly pulsating depress-fest, it’s difficult to say whether there is any hope that they’ll progress towards an impressive conclusion. Oh, and “Aveo” means “I desire” in Latin, but you already knew that, didn’t you, my sweet, sad lover? (Barsuk Records, P.O. Box 22546, Seattle, WA 98122 - www.barsuk.com <http://www.barsuk.com>) - Thumper

Bagheera Twelves
There HAD to have been a fuck up somewhere. No WAY was I intended to review this album. What the hell is this? Bagheera is a male/female duo from St. Louis who had no other friends and decided to get together one night and start playing dull ass lullabies about “space and time travel, electronic redemption, and the promise and fear of scientific endeavor.” That shit is quoted from the press release! Does that sound intriguing to you? Me neither. I had to take a double dosage of caffeine stimulants to make it through all 13 grueling tracks. While their voices work and sound well in unison the bullshit they are singing about just bores me. The music sounds like something you could create with the “auto” button on your first Casio keyboard. You know that button you would push and you would think you were actually making kick ass music when the machine was actually doing it for you. To put it bluntly, this sucks. For shits and giggles though log onto their website at bagheeramusic.com and see pictures of them dressed as elves and role playing Lord of the Rings. I like the movies too, but dressing up like Frodo Baggins and poking my girl’s ass with a toy sword isn’t my idea of an exciting Saturday night. (Asian Man Records, PO Box 35585 Monte Sereno, CA 95030-www.asianmanrecords.com) - Jersey Jef

The Banner Your Murder Mixtape
If someone said, hey, Beck, what’s the stupidest way to open up a record? I would say…hmm, a sound clip from Night of the Living Dead. Ooooh, that’s all scary n’shit. If you’re going to use a clip from that cinematic masterpiece, at least use a good one. “Jesus goddamn holy living shit! What in the name of Jupiter's Balls are you doing out here alone little lady? <http://www.moviequotes.com/fullquote.cgi?qnum=63625>” The Banner has succeeded in voiding themselves of any sort of credibility within the first 10 seconds of their album. On the third track, entitled “Sometimes They Come Back,” another skillfully placed clip from Aliens has been inserted for effect. This band is so unoriginal that I can’t even fathom why they have gotten this far. For every zombie-loving, death and blood obsessed crappy hardcore band, there must be 500 other ones somewhere in New Jersey that are just dying to play the Church. My favorite part is the disclaimer on the back page of their blood-spattered insert: “These songs are fictional and aren’t a veiled threat to anyone living or dead. Seriously”. Well, I’m glad that they cleared that up. - El Beck

Beloved [US] “Failure On”
Solid State currently has a few rabidly popular acts that have been able to achieve success and critical acclaim in spite of (or possibly because of) their Christian faith. Beloved are not quite as brutal as some of their label mates, but they’re able to be faithful without being condescending Bible beaters like their popular comrades. While many people may be turned off by all the God talk, that added element in their lyrics and energy is refreshing when compared to lots of the vapid crap out there, whether you’re Christian or not. The music is also a refreshing change; it’s a screaming/singing partial hardcore combo that actually works. Many of the songs begin with the singing and then build up to the breakdown where the energy rises and the growling gets you to your feet. This give and take keeps the heaviness from being too overwhelming and the light touches from being too tiring. “Allure” eases the album into a relaxed ending, but the final track “Insult to Injury” throws it all back and ties it up with a brutal bang. Beloved continues to perfect a mix, which many other groups fail at, with an intensity and devotion that allows them to surpass any definitions and shine in their own rocking way. (Solid State Records, P.O. Box 12698, Seattle, WA 98111, www.solidstaterecords.com <http://www.solidstaterecords.com> ) Erika Owens

The Berlin Project “The Things We Say”
The things we say, huh? Well I hope the Berlin Project is prepared for the things I’m about to say because I thought this album fucking sucked! For starters, there is a typo on the cover of their album! I know, you’re thinking “but Jef…that’s pretty cool, isn’t it?” No, it isn’t for these guys! The sound quality on this album is awful. It sounds as if this was recorded in a cave or something. There is a weird echoing throughout and the snare drum sounds like the head is about to come off. The vocals are plagued by a crackling sound, almost as if your speakers are blown. For the most part, this Pittsburgh five-piece sounds like they are just coasting along on this record. I don’t feel any energy whatsoever and the songs just seem to run into one another without any distinction or evolution from one to the next. They sound like The Used after consuming about 200 qualudes each. It’s almost as if they are on the cusp of something great but are content with settling for less. With a bit more aggression and heart these guys might produce something worth listening to, but for the meantime I’ll pass. (Orange Peal Records, PO Box 15207, Fremont, CA 94539-www.orangepeal.com) - Jersey Jef

Between The Buried And Me “The Silent Circus”
MetalCore is that scream extreme between the metal and me…I mean, hardcore. Actually, its formula can be devised from math and emo as well, but will never deviate from the anguished souls of white kids abroad. Between The Buried And me are at the top of the slope here and grace us with tortured vocals and tight, and I mean TIGHT, licks. The Silent Circus continues its lair beneath the thorns of reality and delves us deeper into the reaches of Hell and back, and forth, and so on. This isn’t the kind of screwtop metal we all know and enjoy on a decent night out at the pub or friend’s house, this is the grind core of many a collected bonecrusher. It means to destroy all and any who fall beneath the crushing wheel of death metal guitars and guttural groans, intricate orchestrations and subjects manning the helm of abstract loneliness, outcast seminarian, and the perils of not having your mom drive you to the mall. For those interested in such subjects, Between The Buried And Me are one of the best and obvious. To supply you with all of this in lieu of therapy or burning the town to cinders is a happy choice since things aren’t really this bad; it all rests in the mind of those who choose to notice and who choose to just know.
(Victory Records, 346 N Justine Suite 504, Chicago, IL 60607 - www.victoryrecords.com) - Mark Whittaker

Birds of India American Egg EP
This is what Miranda Sound would sound like if they were from Arizona rather than Ohio. Birds of India, like Miranda Sound, have a strong indie rock guitar sound, falling somewhere between the heaviness of Chavez and the spastic nature of the Dismemberment Plan with a hint of The Promise Ring in the vocals. They’re label mates of area favorites Metroplex, The English System and Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Start, and fit rather appropriately along side these bands. Like Miranda Sound, there appears to be some sharing of vocal duties, although only Jason Ei is listed as a vocalist. Either Ei’s vocals are being double-tracked or one of the band members isn’t being given credit for his contribution. Regardless, it all sounds good and the shared vocals are a nice touch on this EP, particularly on the standout track, “Pins & Needles.” Birds of India doesn’t fall into the trap of trying to fit in with any of the current trends (emo, garage, etc) and their straightforward indie rock sound is comforting to listen to. (Limekiln Records, PO Box 4064, Philadelphia, PA 19118 - www.limekilnrecords.com) - Chip Midnight

The Bitter Life Typecast “A Greater Love is Still Unknown”
The Bitter Life Typecast’s brand of emo differs from the rest of the herd in that it picks up a distinct British influence from the usual suspects of groups like The Cure, and The Smiths. These four tracks never really rip and shred, they are slow brooding numbers tinged with darkness and vulnerability. Though this influence helps to differentiate, the group still retains many of the trademarks of the overcrowded genre, mainly whiny off key vocals, and a tendency for melodrama. This is unfortunate because the freshness of the group’s approach is often times overshadowed by the staleness of its execution. While the potential is there, for now at least, Bitter Life Typecast is unable to move past the realm of average. (Outreach Records 1182 Gravel Pike Hereford, PA 18056 - www.outreachrecords.net)- <http://www.outreachrecords.net)-> Dan Williams

Black Print Movement
What is it about boys that they like to scream? I just don’t get the screamy thing. I grew up with Ian MacKaye and Henry Rollins screaming in my ear, and this may be the old man coming out in me, but it’s just not the same anymore. This is full-on scream-at-the-top-of-my-lungs all-the-time kind of screaming. There are tons of bands doing it right now and I’m not sure why. Even Quicksand did the ‘appeals-to-young-boys’ screaming thing in a more tasteful way. So I’m going to put aside the fact that I don’t “get” that and move ahead with this review. This EP is your typical ‘screamo’ BS that’s out there right now but I definitely dig this much more than most of what I have heard. The first few songs are kind of beat but the last two “Cruising Down the Nile” and “When I Fall Do You Feel It?” really save this EP. They have much more melody (especially in the vocals) and they break away from your typical chug-chug guitar crap. Lyrically there is a fair amount of wanna-be poetic shit like “I drown deep into this fall” but there are also a few gems like “Minneapolis winter day is never as cold as you.” (Quincy Shanks P.O. Box 3035, St. Charles, IL 60174 www.quincyshanks.com <http://www.quincyshanks.com>) Wally Peters Jr.

Blue Sky Mile Sands Once Sea
Perusing the thanks section of liner notes can often offer a glimpse into the background of the band, from bands they revere or have toured with to gratitude towards community members; it’s a good place to start. Now, like many bands, Blue Sky Mile don’t thank God (or whoever) in the notes, but their sound makes that a curious exemption. The lyrics aren’t praisey, but the sound of the record definitely has a Christian coffee shop feel; eager and fast paced with a metallic, produced resonance. It’s not live, or grainy, or acoustic so Sands Once Sea is definitely not coffee shop in that sense, but it is personal and poetic, relying more on inflection and allusion than screaming and swearing. In this adolescent, angsty way, the music is inviting. The songs are constrained by their simplicity though. Whining and pleading grabs onto your ears, and the bass drives the songs, but the few chords and pedestrian beats keep the songs from exploring beyond youthful wonder. Angling guitars attempt to delve deeper, but just become a distraction, which is evidence that Blue Sky Mile should just stick to what they know. Their honesty is endearing and the peppy songs in the secular-spiritual vein are a polished package readymade for that post high school crew. (Initial Records, P.O. Box 17131 Louisville, KY 40217, www.initialrecords.com <http://www.initialrecords.com> ) -Erika Owens

Books Lie Hall Of Fame Of Fire + Singles and B-Sides
The energy behind hardcore is one of its strongest selling points. It’s hard to deny, ignore, or place on the back burner the screaming, sweaty, passionate embrace of a hardcore band that simultaneously brings you into a close camaraderie of similar values and pushes you away with volume and anger. Books Lie stays with the former camp without neglecting the latter one. Their insistent drum and bass lines are repetitive in the best way: they formulate a comfortable, hard-hitting foundation that keeps your head nodding rhythmically and forces you to concentrate on their lyrics. “Bread To Steal” is one of the most notable tracks and proclaims: “It’s about time we put our heads together: turn off the TV, write a book, read it to me. It’s about time we put our heads together,” and, “It’s about time we get our friends together. Drink some beer, smoke some weed, build a bomb, blow some shit up. It’s about time we hang our heads together, get down on our fucking knees and smash some shit against the ground.” Whew! Now I know you straight-edge kids out there might not like some of that middle stuff, but the combination of almost adolescent irresponsibility with cognizant creative impulse is undeniably attractive. (Level-Plane, PO Box 7926, Charlottesville, VA, 22906 - www.level-plane.com) - Thumper

Brazil A Hostage And The Meaning Of Life
Sure, lauding a “pastiche” of sounds you rarely hear on indie rock records (such as violin bows on guitar strings) sounds great; you should definitely respect a band for taking risks and trying new things. Fine, great, but Hostage doesn’t sound groundbreaking; instead, it comes off as bombastic. The nasal vocals lead the sonic fugue, which leaves the other elements drifting about in a murky mass. Each instrument gets a brief showcase, but beyond that momentary revelation, the instruments fuse together with only a scaling guitar consistently intelligible. It sounds like the singer is at center stage with the rest of the band bellowing like an impenetrable cloud of patchouli out of the pit. The whole orchestral organizing may have worked for Metallica, but Brazil is no Metallica and the attempt just comes off as arrogant; more “look at me” than “listen to me.” Hostage is not bad, no, that would be too easy; it’s just too much. Too much fog, too much façade, and not enough unity. The singer and the musical accompaniments are too disjointed, as is the central band and additional instruments, which makes what could have been a beautiful, po-mo creation an errant ball of noise. (Fearless Records, 13772 Goldenwest #545 Westminster, CA 92683, www.fearlessrecords.com <http://www.fearlessrecords.com> ) - Erika Owens

Break The Silence Near Life Experience
There aren’t enough bands that still play fast, melodic punk (not hardcore) out there. Break The Silence make me feel proud to like this kind of music again. The melodies soar and contrast nicely with the harsh screaming. There are times when the screaming is overdone, but I don’t think the overall effect is ruined. It’s like Rise Against with a rawer sort of scream, and it’s no wonder since Break The Silence features Mr. Dan Precision (Ex-guitarist of 88 Fingers Louie/Rise Against). The music is tight, not overly technical, but complex in the right parts. Most bands don’t realize the difference between being interestingly tech and just writing unnecessarily confusing, stupid sounding parts. I think the screaming will get on some listener’s nerves while making other’s really like the band. However you think, giving Break The Silence a chance would be very beneficial to your musical depth, and your record collection. By the way, the At The Gates cover is kind of a throw a way, but I guess it’s cool enough.
(Hopeless Records, P.O. Box 7495, Van Nuys, CA 91410 - www.hopelessrecords.com <http://www.hopelessrecords.com>) - Klyjew

Califone Heron King Blues
Ben Masarella and Tim Rutili are the backbone of Heron King Blues, the latest album on which the Califone open door recording policy brings former Red Red Meat bandmates and other friends through the studio. Once again the motley group has created an album that reveals itself as a completely unforced mix of eclectic avant-garde folky blues. Opening with simple and sincere acoustic guitar and banjo, the album floats with a dreamy affect that, through the following tracks’ electronic loops and instrumental showmanship, never waivers in its heady ebb and flow. On “Sawtooth Song A Cheater’s Song,” the interplay between swaying acoustics and computerized loops plays out to the fullest - when melded, the fading of delicate plucking is seamless, as a repetitive drumming/chanting hum takes precedence. The only track begging to be questioned as bizarre in this mix is “2 Sisters Drunk On Each Other,” a subdued funk tour de force that somehow still works. Lyrics throughout are also mostly on the strange side, begging to be debated as either cryptic poetic brilliance or incomprehensible jumble. Either way the words are pretty, sad, angry and inspired, a favorable complement to a soundtrack of such reined manic depression. (Thrill Jockey, P.O. Box 08038, Chicago, IL 60608 - www.thrilljockey.com) - Amber Blankenbiller

Cannibal Corpse The Wretched Spawn
BORING!!! Even amongst the blast beats, the searing guitar licks, the gutter spew and the overall massacre that Cannibal Corpse seems to purvey, The Wretched Spawn feels like an almost self-parodying album. I found myself both laughing and groaning through this whole disc. Can’t you just picture it? After all these years, the boys are just sitting around the kitchen table, tapping their pencils on blank sheets of paper, looking at themselves and going “Okay…well, we need a lyric here. Something really…gross. How about, um…’I pissed in her maggot filled asshole?’ Yeah. That’s good! Really shocking!” Then they just sleepwalk through the extreme death metal, put out another banned album, tour and repeat. You can only do so much of this sort of fantasy violence drek before you begin to wonder if there is indeed anything else out there worth wasting your time on. Unless these guys actually believe in this stuff and then…whoa. Relax man. It’s just a comic book! But I guess they have a fan base and have some cash in the bank so there you go. A job you can kinda sink your teeth into…your bloody, vermin ridden, rape searching, ugly, dull, and permanently humorous in its own guise teeth. Next…!!!
(Metal Blade Records, 2828 Cochran St, PMB 302, Simi Valley CA, 93065-2793 www.metalblade.com) - Mark Whittaker

The Capillaries “Overnight Lows and Daylight Savings”
From the title it’s easy to figure out this won’t be a fun listen, but that’s not the point, is it? The vocals are in the higher range, and sound plaintive and forlorn without approaching the annoying screech of emo. “Modern Dress” is an update of the Beach Boys’ “In My Room” while slow building “Genius” is grunge for the now generation. In fact, it’s the best track on the disc, featuring guitar squall not heard since the late great Dream Syndicate. The drums are always upfront, and the drummer sounds like he wants to bust out, making a big difference in the way this band comes across. “All The Birds Away” rocks well, and may be the rowdiest tune here. There’s also an untitled Xmas track. Overall, not a bad release, so give them time to develop some, but it’s just not rocking enough for me. (Water And Power Recordings - www. thecapillaries.com) - Renrag

Capture the Flag “Start From Scratch”
Capture the Flag has come to rock, simple as that. This three-piece from the suburbs of Detroit has been around for just over 5 years. Did they just say parakeet? The press kit says, "Imagine Bad Religion or Dag Nasty... with Eddie Van Halen playing guitar!" Ha! That made me chuckle the first time I read it. I hope it did the same for you. CTF is also said to have the stamina of Lifetime and the raw hooks of the Descendents…sure, if they say so. I would not have chosen those words, but I'll roll with it this time. Funny thing is that after a listen, hints of Eddie Van Halen circa 1982 are present. Think “Pretty Woman” or “Diver Down.” This runs so close to being the cock-rock of yester-year it's silly. But that really is what gives it its charm. CTF pulls it off much the same way that Coheed and Cambria does sans the Getty Lee vocals. (That comparison is so cliché, I know.) This sound (post-hardcore, 80's metal guitar driven rock) irks some people these days, but for the time being, "I'm feeling it." (Go-Kart Records, PO Box 20 Prince St. Station New York, NY 10012 - www.gokartrecords.com) - Milkman

The Catheters Howling… It Grows And Grows
Another “The” band releasing their 3rd full length record, which happens to be the second on the notorious Sub Pop label. It would be easy to lump these guys in with The Vines, The Hives, The (insert clever name here), but these guys do a decent job of bringing the rock. Interesting dirty guitar riffs lead every song on this record and the vocals are annoying in the same way that has made The White Stripes a household name. If you’re into this kind of thing, these guys are worth checking out. As for me, I’m as sick of the new rock as I am of emo at this point. Sorry guys. [Sub Pop Records, PO Box 20367, Seattle, WA 98121-www.subpoop.com] - Greg T.

Challenger Give The People What They Want In Lethal Doses
This release is easily the most refreshing disc I have heard all month. Challenger is comprised of a few members of Milemarker but doesn’t sound anything like the aforementioned band. Challenger, a talented, stripped-down three-piece, absolutely rocks. According to the band members, Give The People What They Want In Lethal Doses is an attempt to recapture the spirit of early hardcore that seems to be wholly lost these days. I would rate their effort as an ear pleasing one, way above the pack in every way. The ten tracks on this record are solid rock from back to front with a definite nod towards newer bands like the Hot Snakes mixed with any of the old Jawbox records. Simple but catchy guitar riffs abound and the lyrics here aren’t just about last week’s girlfriend. However, the one break up song on the album, “Brand Loyalty”, cleverly loops in samples of guys and girls telling one another the line we have all heard before: “You’re great but it’s never going to work out between us.” This made me feel like I was in my early 20s all over again, but in a good and honest way. This may just be the old punkers’ feel-good record of the year. (Jade Tree Records, 2310 Kennwynn Road, Wilmington, DE 19810- www.jadetree.com) - Greg T.

Circle Takes The Square As The Roots Undo
I’ve seen this band a couple times now and didn’t really like them live but this is the first time I’m hearing any of their recorded material. Robotic Empire went all out again on the packaging and it’s pretty fucking cool. It’s basically a cardboard fold-out case with a little slit to close it up with all over full color print. So, onto the music… I must say my first impression was correct. I don’t see anything special about this band at all. They play a very screamy, noisy hardcore. There’s some Majority Rule and You and I influence for sure, but nowhere near as good, creative, or memorable as those bands. The vocals (male and female) get pretty annoying real fast. Once in a while you’ll notice a clever and original sounding part, but the songs are just cluttered with individual parts rather than real song structures so the entire record becomes completely monotonous and forgetful to me. There’s a pretty cool acapella choir-type part at the end of “Non Objective Portrait of Karma.” If you’re into the usual Robotic Empire / Level-Plane / Witching Hour type stuff, check this out.
[Robotic Empire, PO Box 4211 Richmond, VA 23220 - www.roboticempire.com <http://www.roboticempire.com>] - VeganVadim

Clann Zu Black Coats & Bandages
This starts slow but sure; from somber to anguished, from shy to loud. “There Will Be No Morning Copy” is a perfect example; kind of like Gomez meets The Dream Syndicate, this six minute epic grabs me every time. “From An Unholy Height” is another six minute stunner, displaying such influences as: Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, The Pogues, Velvet Underground, and Gallon Drunk. Mostly though, it’s a slow, sad record, and very well executed at that. They hail from somewhere about North Melbourne, Australia and show a strong tendency to sway towards rootsy, Olde English seafarin’ melodies. I have to tell you that the cover and package artwork holds my attention; a black & white surreal version of a surreal movie, The Nightmare Before Christmas, with pumpkin headed skulls on stick-limbed bodies, sailing on stormy seas and other stuff that would take too much space to describe here. A terrific rainy day listen. (G7 Welcoming Committee - www. g7welcomingcommittee.com) - Renrag

Close Second S/T EP
This is a four-track EP from four lovely young gentlemen from the Netherlands. The cover art on this one is almost the same as what you saw on Elliot Smith’s second full length, a fact that tipped me off to the fact that these guys probably wouldn’t be all that original musically either. While this record isn’t so bad, I have to say that I am glad that they didn’t decide to send me a full length. Each of these four songs sound so much like any other emo/pop punk offering that they all seem to blend together into one. The singer alternates between singing and whining and the music sounds a bit like Farside from back in the day or their buddies Gameface. The biggest problem I have in listening to this is that Close Second aren’t even a close second to any of the bands that they are emulating. I imagine these guys are still in high school, perhaps college, and this band might get them girls. If so, good for them! However, they will never be as big as Blink182, unless they are super cute like Blink182, and I doubt that. No one is as cute as Blink182. (Self released. De Valune 44, 5431ax Cuijk, Netherlands - www.closesecond.com) - Greg T.

Comeback Kid Turn It Around
This record receives my vote for worst cover art of the past few years, hands down. Let me help you out on this one: a picture of a guy with a bleeding chest, holding his own heart in his hands might be some form of social commentary, I don’t know. All I do know is that it’s ridiculously clichéd and the cover alone would make me not want to listen to this; but, since I have to write 200 something words on it, I guess I have to. As long as we’re on the topic of things being played out, the music and especially, the vocals on this record are really derivative and for the most part, pretty weak. While the breakdowns are, of course, crushing and some of the more melodic moments are decent, the vocals kill it for me. Except for a certain few, I’ve never been a big fan of the youth crew yell -not scream- style of vocals. If the guy could sing a little it would greatly improve the feel of the music. Also, I know that hardcore is supposed to have its lyrics steeped in personal revelations and discussing discontent with modern society, I just wish that bands like this would say who or what they are talking about; Comeback Kid’s pronoun usage is out of control. My opinions aside, this band keeps getting bigger every time I hear about them, so maybe that means I could get some good store credit selling this?(Face Down Records, P.O. Box 477, Sun City, CA 92586 - www.facedownrecords.com <http://www.facedownrecords.com>) - Klyjew

Cordalene S/T
Philly's own Cordalene kicks out the jams with some power-pop, upbeat indie rock. The sonic territory they tread is hardly new or even all that innovative, but they do it pretty well. These five tracks are eternally spunky and peppy, and undeniably retro. They spend equal time referencing the rock and roll of past decades in the UK as they do American power-pop. They capture the California sunshine of a band like Phantom Planet just as much as they capture the melodies and pop songwriting of a group like Big Star. Their energy and enthusiasm is refreshing and adds a spark to this group that might otherwise be considered just an average pop band. So all the youthful enthusiasm and energy sets Cordalene apart from other bands in the genre, especially on songs like "Imaginary" and a cover of a Burt Bacharach standard, "My Little Red Book.” (Manic Pop Thrill, 834 Ellsworth, Philadelphia, PA 19147) - Dan Williams

Cougars Nice, Nice
I like my horn-infused punk ‘n’ roll complete with slick vocals, in homage to the greasy’50’s rock sleaziness of the whole concept. Where the Cougars might have taken to heart the good word of Rocket From the Crypt, shouty vocalist Matthew Irie and company kick up the Unsane influence a little too much and the horns end up sounding out of place, even completely irrelevant at times. As saxophonist Jeff Vidmont and trumpeter Mark Beening blow jazzy ska lines over the hard rocking barrage of two guitars, bass, drums and an acceptable use of synth, it’s hard not to imagine that these hornmen are just two guys who were friends of the band, who wanted to be in a band, who subsequently joined the band just to be in any band. Their talents don’t add anything to this music and, unfortunately, distract from the heavy rock the Cougars formulaically play best and should probably stick to - in other words, up the hardcore ante. This isn’t a groundbreaking melding of genres folks, it’s a mishmash of sounds served up incoherently. (Go-Kart Records, P.O. Box 20, New York, NY 10012 - www.gokartrecords.com) - Amber Blankenbiller

Crime in Stereo “Explosives and the Will to Use Them”
I usually am a sucker for melodic hardcore, but something about these guys just turns me off. I don’t like how the vocals switch between yelling and singing. The singing is usually better than the yelling, but there were quite a few times when I cringed at off key melodies. The incessant gang vocals don’t really help too much either; they seem to be inserted just for the sake of having them there because it’s “hardcore.” Maybe they realize that the singer can’t really hold his own? Musically speaking, this is pretty good stuff. Some songs are carried by the ultra catchy guitar riffing, but sometimes they completely ruin the song. Many of the songs could easily be turned into pop-punk anthems if there was a whiny vocalist; this is one of those bands that, if someone didn’t tell you it was a form of hardcore, you wouldn’t know. While I might not enjoy much of what these guys are putting out, I must say that they are still a pretty good band in the sense that they are very tight and in tune with each other and you can sense a good musical relationship among the members. The drummer is quite fun to listen to and I always smile at the high pitch sound of his snare when it is not mixed with other instruments. If you’re a fan of melodic hardcore, these guys could be your next favorite band to sensitively mosh it up to. As for me, I’ll be giving this CD to a friend hoping he/she will like it more than I do. (Blackout!, 931 Madison St., Hoboken, NJ 07030- www.blackoutrecords.com) - Klyjew

Damage Control What It Takes
Why do bands like this put out CDs? There is absolutely NOTHING new you can do with generic youth crew hardcore. The reservoir of creativity dried up in 1988 for that genre (actually, that entire reservoir was used on Start Today, and everything done since has been worthless). In other words, there really is no reason for bands like this to exist. Enough already! Maybe they didn’t get the memo in Norway, I dunno. (Livewire Records, PO Box 007, Mendham, NJ 07945 www.livewire-records.com) - Chris X

Danko Jones Born a Lion
Damn, this is one of the finest records I have ever heard. It’s a motherfucking intense record dripping with sleaze, sweat, headbanging guitar riffs and energy--lots and lots of ENERGY. Danko Jones takes the cocksure attitude of David Lee Roth, mixes it with New Bomb Turks power chords and The Hives groovy rhythm section for an altogether explosive output. Jones, who looks like the evil twin of the Fine Young Cannibals singer, writes about the standards - woman and rock n’ roll - and he’ll tell you all about both, sometimes in the same song. For instance, in “Play the Blues” he lets you know that the only way to learn to play the blues is to get yourself a woman. He very quickly proves that he’s the guy that all men want to be but the kind of guy that all men keep their girlfriends far, far away from. Though he doesn’t know all the right moves and he isn’t the flashiest dresser, he has learned a thing or two from the guys on the block and can get any woman he wants (“Lovercall”). It’s mean. It’s lean. It’s Danko Fucking Jones and it’s time for you to fall under his spell. (Simba Recordings, Long Beach, CA - www.simbarecordings.com) - Chip Midnight

Darediablo “Feeding Frenzy”
The first chords of Darediablo’s Feeding Frenzy ring out as heavy, syncopated and somehow completely danceable. All of my lowbrow sensors are primed for some blue-collar-born-in-the-sticks lyrics about beehive hairdos and hot rod rallies ala Southern Culture on the Skids or classic Cramps. It’s a slight disappointment when, not farther than the second track (and after I open the press release), I realize this trio of New Yorkers prefers the music to do the talking, which is, after a few spins, a very good thing. Feeding Frenzy is nothing less than a ‘60’s psychedelic metal maelstrom grooving at some jive-ass hoedown. Jake Garcia’s adept guitar combination of low-end riffs and whining solos, paired with the systematic untimeliness of Chad Royce’s drumming, could have left Feeding Frenzy feeling like just another math-y stoner rock trip. Luckily for them, Matt Holford’s unlikely keyboards throw what could have been a very formulaic album into a completely new dimension. From a surly take on the ‘ole ballpark pipes throughout “Dark Horse” to the unmistakable au-go-go vibe of “The Rig,” Holford’s organ hangs in the twilight zone as these spacey, jangly grooves soar above the most solid rock fundamentals. Did these men just create the “next big thing"? (Southern Records, PO Box 577375, Chicago, IL, 60657 - www.southern.com) - Amber Blankenbiller

[Daryl] Uneven Surfaces
[D-rippy A-lternative R-ock Y-ou’ll L-oathe.] Does that explain it? If I tell you that it was produced by the same guy who did the White Stripes would I have to go any further? The White Stripes reference might even be a tad esoteric, so I will elaborate. These guys sound like a copy of the Pretenders from the early 80s, except Chrissie Hynde is absent and the singer of Men Without Hats has replaced her and he is trying his best to sound like Bruce Springsteen. Having been a part of the 80s generation the first time it came around, I can tell you that it wasn’t all that great, despite what you may think. All of these keyboard-driven Flock of Seagull rip-off bands leave me feeling a bit flat. [Daryl] is actually pretty talented and I suppose I should be happy that they are not playing emo, but Uneven Surfaces is far from anything that I think the average reader of our fine publication here will care about. I predict that this CD will do straight to VH1 with that new Phil Collins release, which is exactly where they both belong. (Idol Records, PO Box 720043, Dallas, TX 75372- www.Idol-records.com) - Greg T.

Ben Davis Aided and Abetted
Ben Davis gets around. Musically that is. From Sleepytime Trio to MileMarker to Bats and Mice to Ben Davis the solo artist, Ben Davis has been around block. Up for consideration tonight is Ben Davis’s second solo effort entitled Aided and Abetted. I believe the album title is a pun on the fact that the musicians line up card reads like an all-star team. (Plus a few bench warmers!) Normally the whole solo artist side project thing bores the hell out of me and it always comes off as kind of self-righteous. It seems like everyone is out to prove they are some kind of John Lennon or capitalize on the success of their proper musical outlet. Whatever the case I definitely warmed up to Ben Davis and his melancholy affair. I can’t really think of a good point of reference for this record and that quite possibly is a good thing. The album tosses back and forth between pretty and delicate ditties like “Old and Played” and more rocking numbers like my album fave “Underdawg.” No matter what tempo the whole album comes off somber and depressing partly due to the buried and mumbled vocals that are layered on top of dark melodies and arrangements. The album is not without its duds but overall there are enough cool guitar hooks and guest vocals to keep things interesting. (Lovitt Records Post Office Box 248 Arlington, VA 22210-9998 - www.lovitt.com <http://www.lovitt.com>) Wally Peters Jr.

Days Like These Charity.Burns.Green
Charity.Burns.Green? I thought it was envy. Who gives a shit? This band is pretty cool. While they’re young in age, they seem to be mature in their ability to write songs. “One In One Thousand” displays their capability of making catchy choruses while keeping their breakdowns and verses hard and energetic. Fans of bands like Finch will definitely like this 11-song full-length. And if you’ve heard other Lobster Records’ bands and enjoyed them, you will probably like Charity.Burns.Green. On a side note, I hate nothing more than horribly recorded music, and this, my friends, was mastered by Mark Chalecki (Capitol Records) himself. Don’t know who he is? Neither do I. But he did a stellar job, and deserves a creepy man hug. The artwork is also pretty cool. I don’t think you care. I don’t know what else to say. Goodbye. (Lobster Records) - Tubby

Decibully City of Festivals
Upon first listen this record flopped for me. The recording was not very warm sounding and the mix of all the eclectic instruments seemed to trip over itself. For someone who pays attention to that kind of crap it just killed it for me. That coupled with the fact that I couldn’t figure out where this band was coming from musically, I just couldn’t figure out where to start with this review. All I knew was that the band was comprised of ex-Promise Ringers whose names I didn’t recognize. All of that changed once I hit “Skipping Over The Good byes.” All of a sudden it clicked. I don’t know why. I don’t know how. It just did. Upon further listening I came to love much more about this record. At its weakest the record borders on an Alt Country vibe that reminds me of a less pretentious Lullaby For The Working Class but at it’s best (which fortunately is more often the case) the record’s smooth ‘70’s pop flavor is clever, infectious and surprising very original. Lines like “Thrown like a lover’s stone flat and smooth… I’m gone” over some of the best Rhodes/Wurlizter piano riffs I’ve heard since the ‘70’s brings out the warm fuzzy feelings I’ve often associated with great records like Steely Dan’s Can’t Buy A Thrill. I can’t wait to hear what this band does next. (Polyvinyl Record Co. Post Office Box 7140 Champaign, IL 61826-7140 - www.polyvinylrecords.com <http://www.polyvinylrecords.com>) Wally Peters Jr.

Defiance “Nothing Lasts Forever”
Opening with a scream that could have come from the victim of a hemorrhoid lancing, this disc offers a healthy mix of mid-tempo and fast songs. The loud crunchy guitars are more than adequate to disturb the peace. The energy of the drums is sure to get the kids moving, and the anger in Gibby’s voice is bound to incite some sort of fight; perfect if you want to piss off your parents, or scare your dog! Defiance is yet another anti-authority, gutter-punk band that preaches to an angry choir of 15-year-old youths who buy every line. The political lyrics are vague at best, and offer no solutions to the problems that are addressed; “I don’t want your government/ I don’t want your law/ I don’t want a place/ in your shit society…” Though most of the shouted vocals could be easily mistaken for gibberish, I admittedly would have sung along to every word when I was younger. As a post-teen, I see the band as mere slogan chanters who will never change a thing, and probably won’t even try. Surprisingly, they only mention “beer” once on the CD, in a thank you song, “Cheers,” dedicated to their friends. (Punk Core Records P.O. Box 916 Middle Island, NY 11953 - www.punkcore.com) -Toothless George

Descendents Cool To Be You
Oh my brothers and sisters, it has been far too long! The Descendents are back! After a few anxious listens, I can honestly say that this is getting up there as one of my favorites of their numerous releases. It is naturally more in the vain of their most recent; Everything Sucks (one of my all time favorites). The music is rockin’ in that same Descendents fashion and the vocals are wonderfully catchy, with back-ups by none other than Chad Price of All fame. You’ve got to love that Bill Stevenson has yet to get tired of playing the same basic beat for every song, and always does a really awesome job of it. Lyrically, this one is pretty good. It’s not Everything Sucks caliber, but it’s good in its own way. Milo did pen a song about your ass being torn up by spicy food; that’s always been an important, under discussed topic. I think the song “Mass Nerder” is a good follow up to “I’m Not Punk,” from their previous record, Milo Goes to College. Milo assures annoying punk purists and scenesters that he will “…kick their asses in class, gonna get good grades.” This record is a very worthy addition to an already illustrious punk career, so you should definitely own this. Long live The Descendents! (Fat Wreck Chords, P.O. Box 193690, San Francisco, Ca 94119-3690 - www.fatwreck.com <http://www.fatwreck.com>) - Klyjew

Despistado The Emergency Response EP
The first thing to know about the boys in Despistado is that they are from Regina, Saskatchewan in Canada, which is reportedly the coldest place this side of the Arctic. These kids have been in the dark and bitter cold, completely isolated, for most of their lives and yet they explode sonically with the sun-drenched energy of a California punk band, only smarter and dancier. Plus, they lack the banality that the suburbs often inspire in hopped up punksters. Yes, Canada has reared its wonderful musical head again, and while Broken Social Scene and Alexisonfire have been getting noticed for the last year or so, Despistado is only now catching on. This may have something to do with the fact that the band has only been around for about three years, but let’s not quibble. Jade Tree picked them up and they’ve descended from their snowy peaks to rock your socks off. The second thing you should know about the boys in Despistado is that they know what they’re doing. They go retro, swing back into punk, do some mathy, angular guitar work and even call up the ghosts of Fugazi and At The Drive-In at some points. Dagan Harding’s vocals are at times frantic and spastic while retaining a frankness that smacks of sarcastic dissidence, evident on the EP’s lead track “A Stirstick’s Prediction.” The fantastically titled, “Can I Please Have An Order Of Girl With A Side Of Confused” displays a darker, less-playful sound, yet still retains the combative dual guitar work that makes listening to this EP interesting and engaging. The full-length is going to be killer: I guarantee it. (Does Everyone Stare? Records, PO Box 35004, Edmonton, Alberta, T5K 2R8, Canada - www.doeseveryonestare.com) - Thumper

Dialog Cet “Konsumera Era”
Sweden’s Dialog Cet is capable of mixing genres and influences just enough to claim a sound that is quirky and undeniably unique. They switch from being a jamming instrumental band to some post rock noise group bent on volume. The influences stretch from Fugazi, to Sonic Youth, to Modest Mouse, and even some classic rock goodness thrown in. The music is almost entirely instrumental, with just an occasional distorted monotone vocal shout sent through the mix. While sometimes the sound can be difficult and abrasive, they switch styles around too much to be displeasing for more than a moment. The tightness of the group is its biggest asset; they can stop and start and change rhythm without hesitation. Though the group has many positive aspects, this isn’t exactly for everyone. The sometimes inaccessible weirdness of the disc will prove a hindrance to some. But those who can’t get enough of the post-rock jamming and experimental freak-outs of groups like Unwound, or Fugazi’s instrumental moments, will be pleased. (Carcrash Records, P.O. Box 39 46221, Vanersborg, Sweden - www.carcrashrecords.com <http://www.carcrashrecords.com>) - Dan Williams

Dimension Zero “This Is Hell”
Oh man…those crazy Swedes with their penchant for “most aggression in music.” And when it comes to death metal, they hold nothing back! Dimension Zero is the new band from ex-members of In Flames and Marduk and is a speed train of aggro men gone loco and the proof that they too can make the most...oh you know what I mean. This Is Hell is a grim outlook on a grim world done with an authority and demeanor that only true incarnates of sadness and beer can make paper airplanes out of. The tunes are beyond headbanging, they just might crane your neck to such an angle that you’ll watch it fall to the floor and roll past the pit as the thrashing maniacs use it as a kickball or toss around much like big beachballs at stadium rock shows. But the 5 boys here don’t sing about Satan or killing or killing Satan. What I can gather from the song titles and lack of lyric sheet is that they like to embrace a more overt use of looming doom. Instead, they sear the lines of hate and cut umbilical cords into your subconscious and let you eat your way out. Tunes like “Blood On The Streets” and “Killing My Sleep” take the head of the thrash metal class and let us all in on their tyrant little secret: “This is HELL! So get me a guitar and record contract quick!” (Century Media - www.centurymedia.com) - Mark Whittaker

Disfear “Misanthropic Generation”
I was the wrong reviewer to send this record to. I can't stand this kind of fast Swedish metal, I find it unbearable. Regardless of my musical preferences, I do have to say that this is an intense record. The instrumentation is pretty brutal and the production is great. My main complaint is with the singing. I am a fan of a lot of screamy bands, but none that do it like this guy. It just bores me because it all sounds the same…like a dog barking. The lyrics and their song titles…like "Demons, Demons, Demons" and "Never Gonna Last"…are really stupid. I would like this band a lot more if every word didn't sound exactly like the last. I would also like this band a lot more if they were an instrumental metal band. (Relapse, P.O. Box 2060, Upper Darby, PA 19082 - www.relapse.com ) - Erik Aucoin

The Distance Your Closest Enemies
The absolute first thing that came to my mind when I popped this record into my car stereo was: Slayer-Undisputed Attitude. Monotone screaming and a fairly inept band of sub-par musicians playing music that doesn’t need to be reworked. TSOL, GBH, Minor Threat and the Stooges have covered the bases that these Connecticut natives have so ineffectively tried to recreate. No matter how angry you SOUND, it can’t make up for the lack of true ferocity. I won’t even get into the lyrics; let’s just say that the bomb-threat kid in high school could just as easily have written this stuff. The Distance puts an unnecessary spin on hardcore-punk that I don’t understand and don’t particularly care for. This record is uninteresting and will be lost on those whom it targets. Minor Threat could bury this band in their backyard and grow some mighty tasty tomatoes.

Ee Ramadan
Bedroom hush-rock ie: not rock at all but sometimes pleasant and perky. The arrangements are mostly mid tempo, with the occasional louder part set in the middle of this re-issue. It’s well produced, but I wish this band moved a bit faster. In the promo literature it mentions “torrential washes of noise.” I have my hearing checked by an audiologist every year and lemme tell ya, I hear just fine, but I don’t hear anything at all fitting that description here. Imagine James Taylor or Cat Stevens bummed out on Seconals and the woes of being famous. No, you shouldn’t imagine that, forget it. Don’t get me wrong, this is pleasant enough, but I can’t handle pleasant or nice or sentimental. I wanna rock dammit! So, this goes to my trade in pile, my only regret being that I have to provide the jewel box. Yawn. Oh well. (Asian Man - www.asianmanrecords.com) - Renrag

The End “Within Dividia”
Ok, so this CD is based on some kind of concept that involves a house named Dividia and all it’s inhabitants. It’s also captured in a distinctly “film noir” atmosphere, so they say. That all sounds really cool and whatnot, but I just want to hear some good, technical, ultra heavy (sometimes grindy) music, Ok guys? Apparently it is more than ok with The End. This disc is a heavy landscape of building tension followed by a devastating release and highlighted by rapid-fire rhythms, lightning fret-board work and an aurally scarring vocalist who brings it all together. There are many bands pushing the limits of what is considered proper time signatures and these guys do not disappoint on that front. I wouldn’t say they stand out as new innovators of the technique, but they do a damn fine job of making my head spin here and there. Amongst the more brutal songs lay many quieter, discordant, textural build-ups that comprise some of my favorite parts of this CD; it’s good to get that kind of mix without it being boring, an accomplishment that many bands of this genre seem to have trouble with. Listen up for the fun bass solo in song five. After listening to this a few times I really would like to see what these guys are like live. I hope they can convey the same intense, unresolved sort of emotion that the CD does a good job of capturing. (Relapse Records, P.O. Box 2060, Upper Darby, PA 19082 - www.relapse.com) Klyjew

Ensign “Love the Music, Hate the Kids”
I’ve never liked Ensign in the past and this record isn’t changing my mind. I’m glad that they are so grateful to their influences that they deemed it necessary to release a document of all the songs they have covered since their conception as a band, but listening to this was a fairly painful experience for me. Ensign says in the liner notes that maybe they can turn kids on to some good music that they never heard and has helped shape Ensign as a band. Maybe that is why they did this, so kids will say “Jesus, that was awful. The only way to recover from the pain of listening to this is to get the real stuff, so I can cleanse my ears and soul.” Ok, ok, I’m being pretty rough on this record. Let me digress and move onto the more redeeming qualities; recording wise, it’s actually pretty good. It’s good and raw, reasonably tight and it does make me want to actually hear some original songs from bands I am not familiar with, mostly because no one could possibly have a worse hardcore/punk rock voice than Ensign vocalist, Tim Shaw. I guess I understand why they released this record, but to me, it pretty much ruins the future fun these songs could have made for at future shows. They should have left the covers for that setting. (Blackout!, 931 Madison St., Hoboken, NJ 07030- www.blackoutrecords.com) - Klyjew

The Evaluation “We Built The Gun That Causes This Unending Fear”
Clearly these are clever, clever art boys with a penchant for heavy rock and cynicism. The Evaluation aren’t all that scary to begin with. They’ve got this nasty looking pistol on the cover of the CD and the album title suggests that maybe they are all about fear and guns, but I don’t think so. Their irony and manic approach leads me to believe they are above that and want to entice you to attend shows and buy a t-shirt. The music itself is dirty tuned down alt-rock with drum rolls for beats and breakdowns that simmer in drug hazed glee, but the intention here is hard to find out. And maybe I just found it out by stating this. With song titles such as “The One Thing John Grisham And Wal-Mart have In Common”, “The 8th Is No Longer The 8th. The 8th Is Now The 10th Thanks To You Our Fearless Leader” and “Grabbed And Pulled And Hurt My neck in 1988” lets us all draw our own conclusions, and for that, this band has done their job to leave it up to the imagination and wit to get through this album and maybe more to come. The best part is that the three boys here want us to dance. I like that. Not like “bling-bling” kind of booty dancing or rave kid till dawn type of struggle…just moving along and getting into it. Again, points for the clever kids at charge here. I had a good time with this CD. Maybe you will too. That is if you have an imagination….
(Lujo Records, 3209 Jennie Dr, Morgan City, LA 70380 - www.lujorecords.com <http://www.lujorecords.com>) - Mark Whittaker

Evening Other Victorians
Evening is a relatively new band from San Francisco and a breath of fresh air to an otherwise stale genre. A diverse yet unified sense of influences, ranging from Built to Spill, My Morning Jacket, Interpol, David Bowie, Sonic Youth, Blonde Redhead and Radiohead, shapes Evening into the sonically palatable band that they are. I feel like the more I listen to this record, the more I’m going to like it and probably become slightly obsessed with. It’s exciting to hear a band’s debut be so smartly written because it means that they are either going to have to top themselves or fall apart, and that is an ideal position for a band with this much potential to be in. Each member of Evening has had over 10 years of individual experience creating music, which helps explain all of this albums idiosyncrasies and why it doesn’t sound like a debut. This is a must have record, find it and love it. Oh, and as if the music wasn’t enough to ramble on about, their layout is outstanding! One of the most artistic and original digi-pack layouts I’ve ever seen. Evening, you can do no wrong. They’re like, so awesome that like, I just really think they rock, tee hee. - El Beck

Fall Out Boy- "Take This To Your Grave"
This Chicago pop-punk quartet’s increasing popularity may have propelled MTV University to put their video for “Grand Theft Autumn” in constant rotation. For those of you that don’t have the pleasure of drinking room temperature, Milwaukee’s Best beer on a regular basis in an effort to decrease your reservations of talking to some stupid sorority slut with fat tits, MTV University is the music network’s mediocre attempt of complying with college students’ need for quality music (and by quality I mean Clay Aiken, Justin Timberlake, and Ruben Studdard). If you’re thinking to yourself “I hate that song ‘Invisible’ by Clay Aiken,” you are either homophobic or dislike cute southern boys with the perfect amount of sass. What does all this mean? I don’t know. But I will say that Fallout Boy’s recent full-length Take This To Your Grave has a few very catchy numbers, including “Homesick at Space Camp” and “Chicago Is So Two Years Ago.” This LP will definitely be a success for these nice young men. In a related story, I saw these guys play about six months ago and I must concede that Andy Hurley is one of the hardest hitting drummers I’ve ever seen in this genre of music. And it wasn’t the only stick he was beating on if you know what I’m saying. Andy, you’re filthy…I miss you.
(Fueled By Ramen Records PO BOX 12563 Gainesville, Fl 32604 ) - tubby

Fear Before The March Of Flames Odd How People Shake
Fear Before The March Of Flames offers an interesting cocktail of Hardcore, Punk, Metal and Emo. There are the screaming breakdown parts, the melodic back ups, and the metal riffing. These seem to be the trademarks of most every song on the album. The formula has been done with increasing regularity lately, but Fear Before The March Of Flames thankfully offer something different than your Hopesfall, Grade and everything else. This group is more rocking, and frenetic. This album’s 12 tracks play out like a succession of rapid punches in the face, delivered with just enough love and sensitivity that the bruises don’t sting too bad. For someone who likes his/her music intense with a touch of melody, pick it up. (Equal Vision Records, PO Box 14, Hudson, NY 12534 www.equalvision.com)- <http://www.equalvision.com)-> Dan Williams

Feeling Left Out “Two to the Chest to Remember, One to the Head to Forget”
Many times on Feeling Left Out’s website it is declared that FLO will be together forever...I just wonder if that’s enough time to improve upon this cringe inducing debut. The album opens with the rhymey ballad “Enough About Me,” a song about chatting, yes, chatting on the Internet. This introduction is in no way amusing or endearing, it’s just sad and pathetic. Unfortunately, it turns out that these feelings don’t dissipate until the album is over. Other songs explore pressing issues like gravy fries, the telephone, and unicorns. FLO sounds like the type of tripe on adult contemporary radio or spewing from the speakers at Starbucks. In this “boys and their guitar” genre the vocals are often the most important component, and here the lead singer just sounds like he’s eternally out of breath. I wouldn’t dare disgrace any of the other stripped down acoustic artists by likening FLO to them, but they do take a stab at that personal, direct style. It was quite a task to make it through all 14 songs. The lyrics are blasé, the vocals are annoying, and despite any artistic desire, they fail at the emotional boy style. This is open mic night fare only. ( LLR Recordings, 1566 W. Algonquin Rd, Hoffman Estates, IL 60195, www.llrrecords.com <http://www.llrrecords.com> ) Erika Owens

Find Him And Kill Him Cut Them to Pieces
Short, fast, loud and full of scathing social commentary. Brutally honest, uncompromising and angry. No pretentious image, no elitist fashion and no god damn keyboards. Find Him and Kill Him remember and remind us what began 25+ years ago as a reaction to all the nonsense society was and continues to shove down the throats of free spirited kids everywhere. Hardcore, as it stands today, is on the cusp of acceptance in the mainstream due to the ideology of appearance over substance. Thankfully, Find Him and Kill Him's Cut Them to Pieces thrives on the essence of hardcore and the result is a stinging blend of West Coast thrash and skatepunk. With an average song length of 45 seconds, the band is reminiscent of Left For Dead, Infest and a more controlled Charles Bronson. FHAKH's sound embodies all the best elements of hardcore including its thrash-fueled blast beats, blazing no-nonsense riffs and in your face vocals including "Let's Put The End In Friendî which challenges the ìkidsî to question the validity of unity in our beloved scene. As a 30 year-old punk it was a pleasure to review Find Him and Kill Him's Cut Them to Pieces and get a refreshing reminder of how I felt at 15 and what has kept me going after all these years. Die Mall-core die! (Happy Couples Never Last Records PO Box 36997 Indianapolis IN 46236 hcnl.com) BiLL

Firewater “Songs We Should Have Written”
Covers albums tend to disappoint, like a new episode of The Simpsons that turns out to be a clips show. It’s tough to turn out an entire collection of songs you didn’t write without the renditions sounding either pretentiously mediocre or butchered beyond recognition. Songs We Should Have Written, the fifth release by NYC outfit Firewater, is a covers album that will, by default, face criticism from skeptics even before first listen. It’s a very eccentric mix of tunes; from Johnny Cash to Frank Sinatra, an admirable undertaking. Songs We Should Have Written shines in its moody and visceral states, but takes a dive on Firewater’s tripped out take of the traditional “This Little Heart of Mine.” The painfully psychedelic tune feels out of place, even against the bubbly “The Beat Goes On” (Elysian Field’s Jennifer Charles as Cher is gritty pop perfection). The album’s very otherworldly, very Firewater renditions of the slower, more mysterious tunes, especially Robyn Hitchcock’s “I Often Dream Of Trains” (sounding very Daniel Higgs and Pupils-esque here) and Tom Waits’ “Diamonds and Gold” (singer Tod A.’s gruff and rambling croon is a spot-on impression) make Songs We Should Have Written undeniably genuine, perhaps a first in the covers genre. (Jetset Records, 67 Vestry St., New York, NY, 10013 -www.jetsetrecords.com) - Amber Blankenbiller

Flatus Crashing Down
Hmm, a band named after intestinal gas…sounds like a winner to me! Oh wait, I just read the press release on these guys and it says they’re yet another pop-punk band. Shit, just what we need. Actually, these guys aren’t half bad, plus they’re from Jersey! They play the usual three-chord tunes and have a faint Bad Religion vibe to them with melodious vocals and diverse lyrics that actually say something. There’s a little bit of something for everyone here. Flatus recognizes the fact that pop-punk is hitting the mainstream and being watered down to an insulting state as implied on the track, “Radio Hut.” They also express their alcoholic tendencies, which I admire most, on “Shots.” If you have the integrity to include my inspirational heroes and model citizens like Samuel Adams, Jose Quervo and Jack Daniels in your lyrics then I’m all ears! Oh, and did I mention that this album was produced by Sal Villanueva of Taking Back Sunday fame? I will allow the obligatory moment for all you emo guys and girls to sigh. To sum up Flatus: think of Blink 182 before you could buy car air fresheners with their sexy faces on them at the Limited Too.
(Black Pumpkin Records, PO Box 4377 River Edge, NJ 07661-4377-www.blackpumpkin.com) -Jersey Jef

Folly Insanity Later
“Converge” is the first band and word that comes to mind. The band comes up at once due to the notable metal influences of this band, but the general term comes up because of Folly’s convergence of musical genres. There’s some punk rock, some hardcore, some Convergeish metallic stuff; then, there are some totally unneeded ska parts. That’s right, I said ska. The mix is just too much, especially since the vocals are, pretty much, all screamed, with hardly any melodic singing to help out. The gang vocals don’t help, fellas, it’s just pathetic hoping, hoping for some sort of hardcore context that just isn’t applicable, or good in any sense. I’m trying to be nice with Folly, but my patience has worn through. Creativity is sacrificed here, in an effort to be creative. Does that sound confusing? Yeah, well, so is this record, and not in a good way. And, seriously, scrap the clean tone indie/emo parts, it’s just dumb. I’ve realized now that I don’t have to be nice so screw it, this band is terrible. Please, guys, quit Folly and join good bands that are worthy of the apparent talent you have. For listeners: Stay far away.
(Triple Crown Records, 331 West 57th St. #472, New York, NY 10019 - www.triplecrown records.com) - Klyjew

From First to Last Aes-thet-ic
What is exactly is the definition of a generic band? To me personally it would be a band who A) follows the latest musical and stylistic trend in any given scene, B) mimics other more successful bands in said genre in an attempt to replicate their recognition, and C) neglects to live up to any promising expectations placed upon them because of their lack or originality. From First to Last is at the forefront of that very specific definition. Let’s dive into some of the lyrics, shall we? “You used to be my angel, but now you’re more like the devil” and “Tear my eyes right out; I’d rather see you without them anyway,” seem to illustrate my point nicely. The music backing these sentiments is your typical pop punk with singing/screaming in the same vein as The Used, Midtown, Glasseater and about 5 billion other bands out right now. Call me jaded or call me an asshole but this shit is just the worst kind of music being generated right now and will be forgotten as fast as it becomes popular. I await that day of execution while sitting at home listening to Propagandhi and reminiscing about better times. (Four Leaf Recordings, 275 McKinley Drive, Masric Beach, NY 11951 - www.fourleafrecordings.com <http://www.fourleafrecordings.com>) - VeganVadim

Garageland Last Exit to Garageland
Phone rings: G: “Hello?” SM: “Hello is Garageland there?” G: “This is Garageland.” SM: “Garageland this is Stephen Malkmus the former lead singer of the indie rock band Pavement.” G: “Awesome! We really love Pavement. Did you call to ask us to open up for you on your next tour?” SM: “Uh, actually no… I called to ask that your band stop writing songs that sound like b-sides from the Pavement catalog.” G: “Oh… I see.” SM: “Yeah you see the thing is…” G: “Hold on Stephen that’s my call waiting.” SM: “Well make it quick because this call to New Zealand ain’t cheap.” G: “Hello?” FB: “Hello is Garageland there?” G: “This is Garageland.” FB: “Garageland this is Frank Black… Black Francis… of the Pixies.” G: “Oh… Did you call to ask that we stop writing songs that sound like the B-Sides from the Pixies back catalog?” FB: “No, I called to ask if Garageland would open for the Pixies reunion tour.” G: “Seriously!” FB: “No, I’m kidding. Knock it off before I come to New Zealand to kick your ass.” (Foodchain Records 6525 Sunset Boulevard 4th Floor Hollywood, CA 90028 - www.foodchainrecords.com <http://www.foodchainrecords.com>) Wally Peters Jr.

The Gay You Know The Rules
Yes! A perfect pop record! Not quite Tiger Trap’s Puzzle Pieces or Tuscadero’s Pink Album but definitely the best pop record I’ve heard since Wolfie’s ‘99 release Where’s Wolfie? A sugar coated blend of K Records ‘twee’, Kindercore’s ‘pop’ and Teenbeat’s ‘edge’ this almost all female band has crafted some truly wonderful tunes that over the course of the album throw at you everything in their pop arsenal but the kitchen sink. From up tempo pop gems like “Opulent Canine” with it’s quirky accordion breaks to the “bop bop ba da’s” of the mid tempo classic “Fishin’ Jim” this record has it all. In what can almost be called the album’s “Ballad” I reveal in the opportunity to sing along with a hokey line like “Let Your Light Shine!” I may even dare to suggest that this record is better than the highly praised recent release from The Gay’s contemporaries The New Pornographers. If you like fun pop records than you need to get down with The Gay. (I was dying to say that.) (Mint Records PO Box 3613, Vancouver, BC Canada V6B 3Y6 - www.mintrecs.com <http://www.mintrecs.com>) Wally Peters Jr.

Get Fucked S/T
Consisting of Jamie Getz (Turmoil, Lickgoldensky), Alex T. (Lickgoldensky), Eric McMannis (Lickgoldensky, Tornado of Knives), Chris Smith (Neil Perry, The Now, Welcome the Plague Year), and Dave Turtzo (The Now, Tornado of Knives), Get Fucked is yet another band entangled in the ex-members craze. Chris enlightened me early on about the cardinal rule in Get Fucked: it should not take more than five minutes to write any one song. True to story, three of the eight tracks found here were written during one practice the night before the band recorded them. Taken this fact into account, this record isn’t all that bad. It is very noisy and screamy, and sounds a lot like Lickgoldensky. Go figure. There also some distinguishable Deadguy overtones. I’m assuming that most kids who were fans of the previous bands that Get Fucked members were involved in will definitely pick this release up, even if just for the “ex-member” status I mentioned before. All kidding aside, this is not a bad EP by any means, although it’s not necessarily as good as their other bands, admittedly. Oh yeah, did I mention all the vocal tracks for were recorded in a closet with no set lyrics? (Level-Plane PO Box 7926 Charlottesville, VA 22906 www.level-plane.com <http://www.level-plane.com>) - VeganVadim

Glass Casket “We Are Gathered Here Today…”
Hmm, yet another band doing the 1,000-mph change-up metalcore thing. This time it’s a swank looking five-piece from North Carolina, a state that has also spawned the equally mind-numbing Between The Buried And Me. I’m not exactly sure why clean-cut boys feel the need to play this fucking insanity-core all the time, but here we are again in choppy riff, bludgeon-mania purgatory. Granted, Glass Casket (formerly known as Gadrel) is one of the better acts tossing off this attention deficit metalcore. At the very least, they seem somewhat conscious of what makes a memorable song; some space to move and some air to breath right before another bout of audio strangulation/asphyxiation. Like most metalcore albums, all nine songs on We Are Gathered Here Today run together in one seemingly endless blur, so I’m hard-pressed to pick highlights or lowlights. Sit me down with “Fearfully And Wonderfully Made” and “Scarlet Pain And Gasoline” and play them back-to-back 20 (hell, 30) times and I probably still wouldn’t be able to tell them apart. If a 37-minute, affluent white boy exorcism is in order, look no further. Again, you’ll find me huddled in the corner, grasping for something with a simple hook. (Abacus Records, 2323 W. El Segundo Blvd., Hawthorne, CA 90250,- www.abacusrecordings.com <http://www.abacusrecordings.com>) - Jason Schreurs

God Forbid Better Days
God Forbid come along and shake it up just enough for folks in the metal family to rear their long haired heads and exclaim “Wait a minute…what’s this?” Taking tracks from past masterings such as speed metal, and mixing it up with a Meshuggah and Dillinger Escape Plan style of power, these New Jersey boys abstract the glory, aggression and authority that few can actually handle. On top of all that noise, they can actually write a decent song and include lyrics that are at times dour, but usually on the path of self-discovery and rejecting the norm. Sure, I guess you can use the term “metalcore” here and there with this album, and even past albums of God Forbid, but initially it goes a little beyond that and takes a stand with real honed licks and ripped up beats to infuriate and delight. They even procure some of that “nu metal” stuff here and there…but don’t worry! It’s not enough to make you sick and hit the fast forward button. Better Days is an oftentimes gloomy record filled with intensity, but I came out of the experience feeling as if I had discovered something new in metal, and myself in general. Maybe it was just the gas I was huffing. Or maybe I was right all along.
(Century Media Records 2323 W. El Segundo Blvd, Hawthorne CA, 90250 www.centurymedia.com) - Mark Whittaker

The Good Life Lovers Need Lawyers
Tim Kasher’s voice is suited for the blistering howl and emotional breakdown of Cursive’s tortured songs. For a stripped down, more indie and alt-country effort it can be a bit of a roadblock. Such was the case with The Good Life’s (initially Kasher’s side solo project, now a fully assembled group) earlier releases. Kasher’s creaking and cracking voice is thankfully toned down on this effort and the results are pleasant. He’s taken less of the “drunken tormented singer” approach and comes off more like a traveling troubadour, dropping wisdom and attitude. “Entertainer,” is something like a reworked Billy Joel vignette, delivered in classic cynical style. It’s upbeat approach and melody is deceptive in contrast with its self-deprecating lyrics; words of the protagonist. The title track begins with Kasher crooning as some sort of pseudo-drunk hipster lounge singer. Even with its sad and defeated lyrics the record still manages to bop and bounce. It’s almost like Kasher has found a way to have a good fun time creating unhappy and dark songs. Musically, the songs are undeniably upbeat, while lyrically they still paint the sadness and let downs of life. It’s quite an interesting approach, one that allows for this album to stand up against some of Saddle Creek’s best output. (Saddle Creek, PO Box 8554, Omaha, NE 68108-0554 www.Saddlecreek.com <http://www.Saddlecreek.com>) - Dan Williams

Grabass Charlestons The Greatest Story Ever Hula’d
Gainesville, Florida, a city widely renowned for its college football, gater wrestling and incestuous rednecks. This is the last place in the world you would expect to find a kick ass, punk rock trio ready to set your fucking ass on fire, huh? Well, look no further my friends because the Grabass Charlestons deliver! Raw and downright dirty sounds straight out of the swamp filled with catchy riffs and melodies. Take that and top it off with addictive, scratchy vocals and I’m sold! This three piece doesn’t fuck around and goes straight for the jugular with 13 tracks including a Tom Waits cover of “Cold, Cold Ground.” Grabass Charlestons have been compared to the likes of Dillinger Four in the past (no, not the metal guys...the OTHER Dillinger band). However, Dillinger Four never got me in the mood to gather up the boys and drink until we piss our pants, forget our names, and wake up in a hostel on 83rd street with a bunch of Germans (woops). A definite must for any wild, drunken, punk rock, orgy or even for those solo evenings when you feel like downing a bottle of Jack and forgetting about the world and everyone in it. Cheers!
(No Idea Records, PO BOX 14636, Gainesville, Florida 32604-www.noidearecords.com) - Jersey Jef

Gunmoll Board of Rejection
There should be a sign as you enter Gainsville, Florida that says “Home of Post-Hardcore Emo Bands with Gruffy-Voiced Lead Singers.” Okay, so maybe that’s a stereotype and the only band that I can think of that is actually from Gainsville and has a gruffy-voiced singer, besides Gunmoll, is Hot Water Music. However, if I didn’t know any better, I could easily confuse Gunmoll’s sophomore release, Board of Rejection, with a Hot Water Music album, and that’s not such a bad thing. Gunmoll also counts Jawbreaker and Leatherface as influences and you can hear the reflection of those bands in songs like “Less Than You Hoped For,” “Song #2” (which is not a cover of the Blur song of the same name), and “Couples Skate.” The band - Mike Hale (singer/guitarist), Derron Nuhfer (bassist; ex-Less Than Jake) and Jon Marburger (drums; ex-I Hate Myself) - makes quite a boisterous racket for being a three-piece with melodic power chords, thunderous bass, tight drumming and the previously mentioned gruff vocals. Gainsville, Florida, you’ve spit out another good one. Now get that sign erected! (No Idea Records, PO Box 14636, Gainesville, FL 32604-4636 - www.noidearecords.com) - Chip Midnight

Harkonen Dancing
I saw some other review liken Harkonen to The Jesus Lizard, and while I hate to write this based on another’s review, that’s a fairly apt comparison…I think. I never got into The Jesus Lizard that much, but this is fairly reminiscent of them. It pretty much has that whole Amphetamine Reptile/Sub Pop mid-90s post-hardcore feel to it, so if that’s your thing, go for it. Personally, that’s not my bag, so I’d be hard pressed to tell you if this is good or not. (Initial Records PO Box 17131 Louisville, KY 40217 www.initialrecords.com) - Chris X

Daniel G. Harmann The Lake Effect
Slow, depressing, it even put the cats to sleep. Yet it’s not all bad. This is a nice attempt at pulling some pages from the songbook of Elliot Smith or Nick Drake and making an album of your own. This record is comprised of quiet, whispering tracks that had me thinking of Dave Matthews for some reason. If I was feeling really shitty and it was raining outside I think I would really enjoy listening to this CD. Overall, this disc is filled with very pretty songs that are haunting in ways that stick to the inside of your head. However, this is not recommended listening for those who just got out of a rocky relationship because it just sounds too sad for its own good. Track 7, “Fade In/Fade Out” is a good example of what I’m talking about; layered male and female vocals over a very plain piano line that reaches a crescendo halfway through and slowly fades out again towards the end and back to silence. [Post 436 Records, 12511 Ringwood Ave. Orlando FL 32837-www.post436records.com]-Greg T.

Heads vs. Breakers Apathy Is the New Black
And Heads vs. Breakers is the new Lifetime. But before we get into that, I’d really like to know exactly what breakers are and why they are fighting heads. Seriously, what’s their beef? Now then, on to Long Island’s best dancers…They have a song called “Going Back In Time To Kill Bands We Like” and let that serve as a warning to Mssrs. Yemin, Wagenschultz, et al, that if these dudes get a time machine, they’re fucked. So yeah guys, watch out, ok? In the interest of giving a fair review, I’ll go on record as saying that these guys do the whole Lifetime thing REALLY well, and it’s an enjoyable listen, even if it does get kinda old after a few songs. (New Day Rising, PO Box 1383, Miller Place, NY 11764 www.newdayrising.org) - Chris X

Heidnik Songs From The City Of Brotherly Love
Heavy, heavy, heavy. Did I mention that these guys are really heavy? Yeah. Anyway, Heidnik is a metal band from Philly (duh) who have been making a name for themselves around the scene for some time now, and they deserve whatever acclaim and fans they have accrued. They play brutal, technical metal that will break the backs of unprepared listeners while greatly pleasing (and maybe just leaving a flesh wound in) previous fans. Noisy grind stuff is also in great abundance, and the mix is flawlessly executed. This drummer has one of the fastest, mind numbing blast beats I have ever heard. The first song, “Two For Flinching,” is the perfect intro; it blazes maniacally through different metal landscapes and gives a great look at what is to come with the rest of the EP. My only complaint: I need more songs. I know that the band has a full length, and other material, released before this five song EP, but I like this newer stuff a lot more. Oh, before I forget, I’m sure Philly appreciates the sentiments, guys, but the cover art for this is pretty bad. The colors are reminiscent of vomit and the design is less than eye pleasing. It’s ok, though, the music is awesome enough to carry it off. I do like how the CD itself boasts that this disc contains music from “the greatest rock and roll band in the world.” Keep it up, fellas! (Watch the City Burn, 717 Brighton St., Philadelphia, PA 1911 - www.watchthecityburn.com) - Klyjew

Hero Pattern Cut You Out
Let’s get one thing straight to start with: this is an old album. These guys originally recorded and released it themselves back in September of 2003. This is just a bigger label’s re-release of the same material at a later point in time. Still, you’ve never heard of Hero Pattern and the band hasn’t been around that long, right? There’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for that: Hero Pattern isn’t that good of a band. One of the reviews on the press release made me laugh hard enough that I had to share it with the masses: “Hero Pattern play modern power pop with a raw Elvis Costello-gone-emo-edge”. I won’t mention where this description came from because I don’t like embarrassing people, but whoever wrote it must smoke literary crack for breakfast, lunch and dinner. “Elvis Costello gone emo”: what the fuck does that mean? The real deal is that this record is college rock crap. Stay away. Nice sleeve drawings though. (Lonesome Recordings PO Box 15297 Boston,