The Toy Dolls
The setting is in back of the Trocadero after the show on Thursday, March 5th Wonka Vision staff (Meghan, Justin) are standing by with Olga (singer).
Meghan: During your set you seemed to use a lot of energy, obviously you need training daily for that. So what is your exercise regiment?
Olga: Sleeping in that, for 500 miles everyday (pointing to their van) and drinking mineral water. You gotta think that people have been waiting to see ya. They might have a ticket sitting on top of their television for 6 or 7 weeks, and we’ve come 5000 miles, so we should try a little bit for one hour.
Justin: where do you guys live?
Olga: almost Scotland but besides where the Exploited live.
Justin: Did you go to high school with The Exploited?
Olga: No, they are 100 miles north of where we are.
Meghan: Although you guys have been influences for many other bands, are there bands that have influenced you?
Olga: No, not bands, just girlfriends, next door, neighbors, and people like that.
Justin: What made you guys cover a Proclaimers song?
Olga: Well, we always picked a song that we think we can make into a Toy dolls song. We try to cover lots of songs, but they never work.
Justin: Did you ever think of covering a Toy Dolls rap song?
Olga: Maybe.
(Real frogs start jumping around on the floor)
Meghan: What are you thoughts on the frog?
Olga: I don’t mind frogs as long as I don’t land on them.
Meghan: A the beginning of your set, you asked us if we thought you were too old for this, is that any kid of foreshadowing that you guys are going to be...
BANG!
(Yelling and screaming 1/4 stick of dynamite blows up. It is heard throughout Philly!)
Olga: Christ almighty! That’s that flipping Guttermouth group. Bastards!
(Back to the Interview)
Meghan: Is that any kind of foreshadowing?
Olga: I’ve been saying that since 1979.
Meghan: so you’ll be in a wheelchair and still be going at it?
Olga: God, I hope not!
Justin: How old are you guys?
Olga: some where between 15 and 45
Meghan: Huh? Me too.
Laura: Will you be my friend? (Olga walks away, Marty the drummer steps in his place as if we couldn’t tell the difference)
Meghan: so what do you really thing about Guttermouth?
Marty: I love them! The first sight I ever had of Guttermouth was at the Vegas gig. We came in late and they were on stage. And mark, the singer, had a girl out of the audience insert her finger up his anus. We were like, Holy Shit!
Meghan: Great first impression.
Mary: it’s all right , it’s entertaining.
Justin: So does mark molest the little girls backstage?
Marty: No. Shockingly they are really nice people. So are these the girls you were telling me about when we ere in the dressing room?
Justin: These are the girls who enjoy gangbangs.
Sue: Oh that’s our favorite.
Marty: Nudity?
Justin: They’re into that kinda stuff but you need to coax them a bit.
Marty: I could be asked.
Justin: do you have any crazy tour stories?
Marty: They usually all tend to be in-jokes, that only they lunatics who haven’t slept for two months, all will laugh at. It’s our last gig with Guttermouth tonight so we put some frogs on their stage. Once they told me how they went on tour with some band, and they put foo crickets in their van before they left and most of the guys went insane.
Meghan: Let’s get to know each other...what’s your favorite movie?
Marty: 12 Angry Men. Tarantino films
Justin: Who’s your favorite Willy Wonka character?
Marty: Not Agustus Galoop! That guy who runs the factory. Willy Wonka? (Frogs jump out of box)
Meghan: What would you name the frogs?
Marty: Susan after Susan Sarandon. (Sue started to break out in a hot sweat)
Justin: Tell any good jokes lately?
Marty: Yea, this girl said to me, “Hi was up?” I said, “The pound against the dollar.” ...I had to explain the joke for 30 minutes! She’s going “Well I’m not English I wouldn’t understand?” Waz up! Waz up! Dude, Dude!
Justin: It’s getting kinda cold out here, do you have any last words?
Marty: Don’t let your meat loaf and always let your hot dog stand.
The interview ended with Guttermouth trying to talk to Toy Dolls into going to a bar with them, and with Guttermouth screaming about how they hope the Troc burns to the ground.
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